Dealing with stress | Tips from a coach

Stress is not necessarily wrong. A little stress ensures that you react alertly to situations. Unhealthy stress is another story. When stress persists for a long time, you can develop chronic complaints that you can’t get rid of quickly. That is why it is important to do something about your stress symptoms. Because only then can you prevent overstrain and burnout.

Holistic Approach

Balance of soul, body and mind is important. If one of these three is out of balance it will affect the other two. As a result stress can have different causes. You can work on what causes you stress (if you already know), but as a coach I like to look at all three aspects of someone. I use the TotalBalance method for this. This involves looking at someone’s past, present and future. Awareness is key.

Who were you?

How was a person formed? What kind of family did you come from? What was your place within the family? Were you bullied in elementary school? Or are you from a very stable situation?

Who are you?

By means of an energy analysis you will find out which activities cost you energy and which things give you energy. What are your talents, how does your personality fit together? Which circumstances motivate you. Are you in the right place?

Who are you becoming?

There are 5 themes that are important to pay attention to:

+ Believing
+ Growing
+ Enjoying
+ Loving
+ Healthy living

Using these themes, you can make goals that are definitely going to help you make good choices, where the unhealthy stress can disappear.

Stress triggers

What triggers stress? It can be triggered by a variety of things. For example, stress in your work environment. Am I in the right place? Am I being seen? Or am I doing it right? Uncertainty is often a trigger. You may be unsure of yourself. Others are nicer, more articulate, better. Or you may be very perfectionist. You want to do everything right. And that doesn’t always work. Sometimes you have no control over a situation and that is scary. It may also be that you want to keep everyone happy and in doing so you pass yourself by. Your identity depends on what other people think of you or say about you. Maybe from an early age. You can build up a whole pattern of wrong thoughts about yourself. And let’s not forget corona. All the measures, the uncertainties and big changes had a huge impact on people. Daily life suddenly became very different. The structure and security was suddenly gone. Such changes can cause a lot of stress.

Tips for dealing with stress

We all deal with stress from time to time. You don’t have to worry about burnout right away, but it’s good to spot stress and do something about it. How? Here are a few tips: 

1) Make a list what gives tension and what gives energy.

2) Think about what your positive qualities are and whether you use them in a good way or whether they perhaps cause you to experience stress.

3) Talk about it with someone you trust.

4) Write down what you worry about; thoughts, events and feelings.

5) Think about what you can do yourself to experience less stress, e.g. rearrange your day or divide tasks differently.

6) Continue to take good care of yourself with good nutrition, exercise/sports and enough relaxation.

7) Ask for help in time.

Awareness and recognition of your stress are very important. Ignoring signals often only worsens the feeling of stress.

Personal Experience

I have a diary in which I regularly write what worries or stresses me. Then I divide this into what I can do something about and what I cannot do anything about. For example, the care for my children or the care for my mother, now that my father has just died. I can’t change anything about situations, but they do give me stress. I am still learning to let go knowing that God never lets go.

God and stress? 

Faith in God helps me take the focus off of myself and focus on Him. When you surrender yourself to Him and discuss with Him every day the things that cause you stress, you surrender it to Him. Trust Him in that as well. ” Let go, let God” is something I try to put into practice myself.

What can I learn from Jesus about stress? 

Jesus sought rest to spend time with His Father. He was always seeking connection with God. I learn from that that I may do that in the same way. 

Every day, before I start other things, I take a moment alone with God. I tell Him out loud how I feel that day, what I’m worried about, what’s on the agenda. Sometimes I write it down in my journal. Sometimes I read a passage from the Bible with it. For me, that moment of the day is very important. Then I start my day. 

More tips from Jesus on dealing with stress? Click here

Marjon Bosman has her own Dutch coaching practice ‘Thabiti Coaching‘.

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