Fullness in an imperfect world – by Steve

To watch Steve’s video, click here.

I grew up how anybody would have wanted to have grown up.  My parents loved me, provided for me, and taught me how to live life.  I was a well mannered kid.  I followed all the rules.  I actually liked all the rules.  I liked being told what to do.  This lead to me being the favorite of many of my teachers, and it even won me the title of “Student of the Year” in my elementary school when I was 6.

My parents brought me up going to church and taught me to have a Biblical view of the world.  I prayed the prayers they wanted me to when I was 5 years old, and felt assured that if I died I would not go to Hell and be prodded by a burning pitchfork for the rest of eternity.

But it wasn’t until the summer I turned 15 that I realized “fire insurance” prayers only told a small portion of the good story God wanted me to learn.  Something was missing.  Life wasn’t perfect.  I wasn’t perfect.  For every “nice Steve day” I had two “grumpy Steve days.”  I hated imperfection.  I began to hate myself.  Though I never considered suicide or anything to that extreme, I still felt a deep longing for more.  I wanted to know how to live, but people’s answers weren’t sufficient.

But then I turned to the Bible. I read wisdom, and I found the answers I craved.  I learned that God originally made everything to be perfect, but that perfection was broken by a disease called sin. I learned that God had sent someone named Jesus to “make all things new.”  In Jesus I had hope.  I found peace.  I was filled.  If I was a car, the Bible became my “owners’ manual.”  I could consult it to see how I was created to function.  I tasted a good God, and I have never found anything better.  You could say that I had finally found life as it was meant to be lived.

Since then, my life has not been perfect. I still struggle with “grumpy Steve days.” But now my imperfections point me to a God who is perfect and is giving me more time (infinately more) to understand His perfection. As I get to know His perfection, I learn how to function the way I was created to, and to have healthier expections for myself. I find rest, comfort and fullness in that.

Recently, I had a difficult winter as I worked full time to share my good God with university students in Tilburg, Netherlands.  There I found myself (an American) and my beliefs to be in the minority.  Students would routinely tell me they didn’t have time for God and that He wasn’t relevant anymore.  I couldn’t help but wonder if they were right.  Had I really committed my life to something that is just a made-up idea?  This question kept nagging at me. I grew exhausted from the stress. When I finally asked myself why I believed, I cannot deny the fact that my life is the fullest and truest when I follow the instruction manual of my Creator. Now I try to press into that truth more and more.

If you found my story speaking to you, and want to interact with me more feel free to find me on facebook, or send me an email.



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  1. Tamyra Dowling on 30/04/2018 at 12:16 AM

    Glad I found this. Thanx

  2. DeJuanaTA on 01/05/2018 at 2:28 PM

    Thanking Almighty and Son Always..For glory to above to know he is the trur living God..no complaints but thankful for all aspects in life bless your journey in Jesus name

  3. Rhonda on 01/05/2018 at 3:38 PM

    Thankyou for sharing. All I can think to say is keep on keeping on. Because God will always take care of you for what you’re doing. You planted the seed. God will do the rest. In His word He says we will be persecuted because He was. I think of the apostles and other martyrs. Even people of our own close family members. But never stop praying for them. Please pray for me because I am struggling with smoking. I hate this sin and pray everyday for God to forgive me and help me. I truly know that I can’t do this on my own and I know if I quit it will be Only HIM and I will give Him ALL THE GLORY AND PRAISE AND HONOR. I’m a strong believer in prayer and believe asking for prayer by all who will. And thank you in advance. He is coming back soon and I want to be ready. God bless you.

  4. Ann on 01/05/2018 at 4:13 PM

    Hello, I’m glad I found this I struggle with imperfection as well as the need to be accepted and liked…I am afrixan American but I experience such anger, hate from family and co-worker about who I am and my race..They team up against me as well as my boss who uses me as escape goat in every way possible…I try praying for them all but someday it is hard and leaves me feeling alone, angry, and wonder if I belong here and is there a place for me people aways tell me how kind and nice I am if so the question is why am I treated so bad..I don’t have boundaries..I’m lost an hurting.what shall I read In the Bible for relief or understanding

  5. G on 30/05/2019 at 11:06 AM

    THHAT is the enemy of your heart speaking through them! Dont listen to that listen to the voice of Your Saviour Jesus who is kind and loving and good to you evryday who fighst for you to turn to him who promises to take care of you and to revenge you!!!
    Every time they do/say something hurtful or mean FORGIVE THEM and bless them (forgive and God forgives you, bless those who curse you) and hold no anger or resentment for this will make your heart heavy and you will be unhappy!
    We are made to live enjoying the love and presence and leadership of our precious Maker in our lives everyday! Dont listen to them listen to God
    If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. matthew 6:14
    Ephesians 1:6, KJV: “To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.”
    You re fully accepted and fully loved in Christ Jesus
    2 Corinthians 10:4
    4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
    That means they are not your enemy the enemy is! bless them and give your heart to God and he will take care od the rest