How Jesus changed their lives
There are so many people telling their stories about how Jesus changed their lives. And it’s not a simple formula or the same for everyone. We are all on our journey in our lives. We all carry our history and experiences with us. We all need a Saviour. We are all loved by our Creator.
After months of trying to fill my loneliness with all the wrong things, it caught up with me in a night of partying. I was weighed down with so much shame and was in disbelief at the person I looked at in the mirror. I felt helpless as I started to see that it was more than just the one night of mistakes. I knew that this person I’d become wasn’t me! Something big had to change.
As a child, I struggled to see my value, although I wanted very much to feel valued by something deeper than the people around me provided. This unmet desire started to grow into my thoughts and morphed into the giant lie that I was “unwanted” and affected how I viewed myself.
My greatest joy is to know God and be known and loved by him. But how is that possible? I mean… who can really know God?!
“Madam, you have the choice for your baby : your baby dies in your sale, or his life will be very hard. There is no other way : his life is wretched”
Right around the age of 19, I then started having doubts. Do I only believe in God because my parents immunized faith into me? Does Jesus really exist?
„Unfortunately, medicine is powerless in this case,” the professor businesslike explained my mother. „The disease will progress slowly, muscles will atrophy, and it will get hard to breathe… In short, get ready for the fact that your daughter will live 10, maybe 18 years…”
I was standing in line like every other passenger, nervously going through all my papers. I had no idea what would expect me the next few months. I didn’t know that God could change my life completely almost overnight. Everything happened on a small island called Hawaii.
For seven long years I have fought against a pornography addiction. In 2011 I experience Gods intervention and deliverance and became a freed man.
At the age of 24 I had given up my life. The strong anti-depressants which I was taking since many years because of depression and anxiety, made out of me an empty shell of blood and flesh. As my trials to take my life stranded, I decided to go to Exit (an institution for euthanasia).
Until last years my faith included praying before going to bed – I praised or asked for the help of God. You could tell that I was trying to get towards the God, because somehow, the whole time I was thinking that He is real and true, though distant to me.
In 2012, all changed… It began with a discomfort while I was at my office; I had this discomfort several times. So I went to the doctor who sent me to the E.R. I had a lot of tests for a week.
When I came home from Church that day, I was again beaten by my stepfather. After that beating my heart had enough. I looked straight up to God and said, “If this is my future… I don’t want your help. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
I remember very well that my mom told me others were telling her nothing good would ever come from me. It was not worth it to bring me to the school just for me to sit there and listen.
I strived to be the ‘well behaved student’, the ‘perfect daughter’, the ‘loyal friend’ and the ‘good Christian’, but it wasn’t enough. I was never satisfied. I was always disappointed in myself because I could never live up to my own expectations or the expectations of those around me.
I used to go to church on my own regularly until my adolescence. But I felt alone in that church which was almost empty.I did not talk to anyone… And, when I was a young student, I discovered news things, not very beautiful ones, such as pornography…
I fear that people can see right through me—can they see how depressed and lonely I feel inside, how completely helpless and overwhelmed I am, how anxious my every thought is.
I struggled to find acceptance or to believe that I was good or lovable. I know that years of bitterness have caused me to forget any fun times I had at home, but now I can only remember the loneliness, the bitterness and the pain.