How Jesus changed their lives
There are so many people telling their stories about how Jesus changed their lives. And it’s not a simple formula or the same for everyone. We are all on our journey in our lives. We all carry our history and experiences with us. We all need a Saviour. We are all loved by our Creator.
Two weeks after the funeral I returned to The University for my second year. It wasn’t the same; I missed my dad. I spent my days feeling sad and then trying not to feel sad. Mostly I attempted this by drinking, comfort eating, skipping lectures and finding comfort in different relationships.
The death of my grandmother was a real shock to me. For the first time in my life I started to think what would happen to me if I die.
I was standing in line like every other passenger, nervously going through all my papers. I had no idea what would expect me the next few months. I didn’t know that God could change my life completely almost overnight. Everything happened on a small island called Hawaii.
As I went from one meaningless adventure to the next I ended up on a bench by the river in Bristol city centre. I had never felt so alone in my life.
Right around the age of 19, I then started having doubts. Do I only believe in God because my parents immunized faith into me? Does Jesus really exist?
It was at primary school, with my friends who went to Sunday school, I heard about God for the first time. I was more afraid than envy. Being young, I was afraid of the future and dark.
Then, my uncle’s phone rang. The news fell down. His brother, and that means my father, has just died on his working place. I remember the first thing I said after I realized I would never see him again : “I’ve never told him I love him”. I was destroyed by a feeling of guiltiness.
“Madam, you have the choice for your baby : your baby dies in your sale, or his life will be very hard. There is no other way : his life is wretched”
My greatest joy is to know God and be known and loved by him. But how is that possible? I mean… who can really know God?!
I struggled to find acceptance or to believe that I was good or lovable. I know that years of bitterness have caused me to forget any fun times I had at home, but now I can only remember the loneliness, the bitterness and the pain.
After months of trying to fill my loneliness with all the wrong things, it caught up with me in a night of partying. I was weighed down with so much shame and was in disbelief at the person I looked at in the mirror. I felt helpless as I started to see that it was more than just the one night of mistakes. I knew that this person I’d become wasn’t me! Something big had to change.
I fear that people can see right through me—can they see how depressed and lonely I feel inside, how completely helpless and overwhelmed I am, how anxious my every thought is.
So, I was lying face down on my bed. It was about 4am, one night in my first year at university and I was feeling absolutely exhausted, but my heart was still pumping with the caffeine from red bull & pro plus.
„Unfortunately, medicine is powerless in this case,” the professor businesslike explained my mother. „The disease will progress slowly, muscles will atrophy, and it will get hard to breathe… In short, get ready for the fact that your daughter will live 10, maybe 18 years…”
I remember very well that my mom told me others were telling her nothing good would ever come from me. It was not worth it to bring me to the school just for me to sit there and listen.
Until last years my faith included praying before going to bed – I praised or asked for the help of God. You could tell that I was trying to get towards the God, because somehow, the whole time I was thinking that He is real and true, though distant to me.
I remember very little of what happened that evening, but the next thing I knew, I was sitting alone in a cold, lifeless police station cell, not knowing precisely why I was there, how long I’d be there for, and what was going to happen to me.