Jesus and I
There are so many people telling you their story about how Jesus changed their lives. And it’s not a simple formula nor is it the same for everyone. We are all loved by our Creator. We are all on our journey through our lives. We all carry our history and experiences with us. We all need a Saviour.
My greatest joy is to know God and be known and loved by him. But how is that possible? I mean… who can really know God?!
„Unfortunately, medicine is powerless in this case,” the professor businesslike explained my mother. „The disease will progress slowly, muscles will atrophy, and it will get hard to breathe… In short, get ready for the fact that your daughter will live 10, maybe 18 years…”
I struggled to find acceptance or to believe that I was good or lovable. I know that years of bitterness have caused me to forget any fun times I had at home, but now I can only remember the loneliness, the bitterness and the pain.
It was so hard to accept myself. I didn’t even notice how I became involved in a hunt after my value. I wanted to prove both – others and myself – how intelligent and beautiful I am. I started pursuing it by various activities, works and relationships with guys.
When I came home from Church that day, I was again beaten by my stepfather. After that beating my heart had enough. I looked straight up to God and said, “If this is my future… I don’t want your help. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
My school time was hard for me, I was bullied and hurt with words. People said bad things about my body structure, my look and my appearance. Often I came home from school and cried and spoke bad things over myself and my life.
“If this is all there is, then what’s the point?”
That describes how I felt about life as a young adult. My life lacked purpose and fulfillment. I just existed.
God has done so many great things in my life. He has helped me through tough times and answered so many prayers – even the small everyday things. At times when I have been greatly stressed I learnt to give all my worry over to him and as a result felt complete peace and joy in the midst of all that was going on – and that is simply incredible!
So, I was lying face down on my bed. It was about 4am, one night in my first year at university and I was feeling absolutely exhausted, but my heart was still pumping with the caffeine from red bull & pro plus.