Just when I was about to jump down my phone rang. It was my friend who suggested that we met. I could not say no, so we met. I did not tell him where I was and what I was about to do…
I remember very well that my mom told me others were telling her nothing good would ever come from me. It was not worth it to bring me to the school just for me to sit there and listen.
I was standing in line like every other passenger, nervously going through all my papers. I had no idea what would expect me the next few months. I didn’t know that God could change my life completely almost overnight. Everything happened on a small island called Hawaii.
As a child, I struggled to see my value, although I wanted very much to feel valued by something deeper than the people around me provided. This unmet desire started to grow into my thoughts and morphed into the giant lie that I was “unwanted” and affected how I viewed myself.
Until last years my faith included praying before going to bed – I praised or asked for the help of God. You could tell that I was trying to get towards the God, because somehow, the whole time I was thinking that He is real and true, though distant to me.
I was fascinated to see what God had done in my Mom’s life. But for myself, I didn’t want to let Jesus come too close to my heart. So my life was still being influenced by great fear. For example, I was so scared of the dark that I only stopped sleeping without a light when I was 13 years old.