Jesus and I
There are so many people telling you their story about how Jesus changed their lives. And it’s not a simple formula nor is it the same for everyone. We are all loved by our Creator. We are all on our journey through our lives. We all carry our history and experiences with us. We all need a Saviour.
As a child, I struggled to see my value, although I wanted very much to feel valued by something deeper than the people around me provided. This unmet desire started to grow into my thoughts and morphed into the giant lie that I was “unwanted” and affected how I viewed myself.
Until last years my faith included praying before going to bed – I praised or asked for the help of God. You could tell that I was trying to get towards the God, because somehow, the whole time I was thinking that He is real and true, though distant to me.
I was fascinated to see what God had done in my Mom’s life. But for myself, I didn’t want to let Jesus come too close to my heart. So my life was still being influenced by great fear. For example, I was so scared of the dark that I only stopped sleeping without a light when I was 13 years old.
“If this is all there is, then what’s the point?”
That describes how I felt about life as a young adult. My life lacked purpose and fulfillment. I just existed.
God has done so many great things in my life. He has helped me through tough times and answered so many prayers – even the small everyday things. At times when I have been greatly stressed I learnt to give all my worry over to him and as a result felt complete peace and joy in the midst of all that was going on – and that is simply incredible!
So, I was lying face down on my bed. It was about 4am, one night in my first year at university and I was feeling absolutely exhausted, but my heart was still pumping with the caffeine from red bull & pro plus.