Forgive and forget
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Did you know that it’s scientifically impossible to forget? Our minds remember everything we experience, but we can only recall those memories that have a strong emotional component. I don’t imagine you can recall what you did twenty years ago on a Tuesday unless, of course, you had a massive car accident or an earthquake destroyed your house. We only recall what has significant meaning to us.
You probably remember your school graduations, sports awards, weddings, the birth of a child, or a big promotion. You can recall these great memories because they are so positive. But there are other events that elicit more negative emotions, like the death of a loved one, a divorce, accidents, or physical or sexual abuse. We remember these experiences because they have strong emotions connected to them. They are a lot like bombs filled with gunpowder. They can be triggered by a small event like a match.
The psalmist David once said, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” (Psalms 51:10, NIV) If you forgive, the gunpowder is removed, and you will no longer be triggered. The infection is removed, and the wound is now able to be healed.
Like David, let’s cry out to God while we enter the second stage of forgiveness: “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.” (Psalms 51:7, NIV) The second stage is the Process. It’s a lot like the first step, but you must repeat it over and over again until you reach the third stage.
Jesus taught Peter the importance of this principle: “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (Matthew 18:21-22, NIV)
Sometimes it just takes one choice and declaration, but the deepest hurts take time. In regards to my dad, I found myself in and out of the process many times. My wounds were so deep that it became my habit to forgive again and again.
Start the journey of forgiveness today. It may take a while, but give yourself permission to reach the process stage. Because you are worth it, and don’t forget—you are a miracle.
Thank you Paul! That’s such an important reminder.
Thank you Paul need this today forgot forgiveness is very important can you put my goddaughter Charnita on you pray list she need pray for total healing from childhood abuse thanks amen
Dear Paul, I can vouch for forgiveness taking a long time. I found it was a process more than just words. Each time I felt the hurt and anger welling up in me I had to adk God to take it away. I would start singing and praising until it went away. Eventually I could think about the person without feeling that thing coming up…. It took about 2 years of active endeavour!!!! Blessings to your and your ministry.
Thank you Paul for the devotional every day.
Thank You! This helped a lot today!
My biological mother has been reaching out, my and me had been in Foster Care since we were little. She wouldn’t get the help she needed in order for her to keep us. Our older sisters had experienced an abusive relationship with her years before we were born. So to listen to this wonderful reading made it very clear WE as her kids need to put past differences aside and to whole heartedly forgive our mother❤️??
Pastor Goulet, thank you so much for sharing God’s Word, and for your wise counsel!! Your daily reminders, such as on forgiveness, are very healing for me.??❤️?
Thank you god bless ❤️
Dear Paul, this is so humbling to hear. I’ve struggled with alchoholism for several years now. I recently had 6 mths of sobriety up until this past Sunday when I relapsed so bad that I blew a .22 bac, with my children in the vehicle. With a heavy heart I’m having a difficult time forgiving myself.?
It is the most painful things in ones childhood that will be remembered. I went through some traumatic experiences unknowing to my parents by trusted individuals and found it hard to forgive them , until I listened to a sermon on forgiveness. I searched the Scriptures for myself and in one of the Gospels it says that if you don’t forgive others who have wrong you, God will not forgive you. I didn’t want to forgive because I thought that they have destroyed my life, but I have to obey God’s word. On my knees I went bawling and saying to the Lord “Father I forgive…….”calling the names one by one. When I was finished, I was still crying, but I felt light as a feather, a huge weight was lifted. I couldn’t believe that I was carrying that amount of weight around for almost twenty five years. Unforgiveness keep me oppressed mentally, physically, emotionally and in my education. There’s nothing that I cannot forgive anyone of. Thank God for setting me free. My only regret is that I didn’t know about forgiving before.