How to process loss and grief?

I’ve had a week to digest the death of my mom. I know it will take more time to process the sense of loss and pain, but I feel the initial gut punch is wearing off. I’m now able to start to look back at her life, look up to where she is right now, and look up ahead to a life without my mom on Earth. 

friend, I hope and pray this tribute will spark a memory or two of your grief journey that may be stalled or just beginning. The Bible says this about the grieving process: “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” (1 Thessalonians 4:13, NIV) 

Notice it clearly states that we all grieve a loss. friend, what have you lost this year? Who have you lost this season? I once read that the grieving process takes at least 18 months to process. In my experience as a counselor, many people never complete the process. They often get stuck in denial, anger, depression, or even fear. Many times they sedate themselves with legal or illegal drugs. 

But as Christians, we can find the tools to walk through grief into a place of acceptance, reverence, and remembering. I’d like to share my steps in an effort to help you walk through yours. 

1. Before loved ones die, leave no words of love unspoken. Prepare yourself and them for the next chapter of your life and theirs. “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians 5:8, NIV)
2. Prepare yourself as best you can. Death can be difficult to see and endure. There are no easy steps. Most steps are hard, but the grace of God will help you navigate the way.
3. Be aware of the other members of your family. They are on the journey as well, doing the best they can. Be gentle with them and show them tons of grace.
4. Give God thanks for the life, contributions, and impact of that significant person. He/she was and is a treasure and gift to you and the world. “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV) 

When you take these steps, the grief will not magically disappear, but you will process the loss in a healthy way. friend, you can do this because you are a miracle and a game changer.