It’s okay to speak your depression out loud

Years ago, I was with a friend on a boat on a beautiful, sunny afternoon in northern Manitoba. The problem was that the time just got away from us. We were enjoying the day so much that we didn't notice the darkness slipping in on us, and by the time we tried to head back home, the night was dark. So dark, I could not see my hand in front of my face. In that moment, while I was afraid, I was so glad I was not alone!

On the first day of this journey together, we made a discovery: we are not alone. Many people in the Bible battled depression… Elijah, David, and Jonah, just to name a few. Yesterday, we met a new friend, a man named Asaph who wrote Psalm 77. In Psalm 77, we learned that it was so important for us to start this journey by just acknowledging that there's a problem, that it's okay to cry out to God and say, "I'm lost, I'm heavy, I'm sad, I'm depressed." 

In my story, I got lost in the depression. I got lost in the silence. I got lost in the loneliness. I got lost in the lack of answers.

But as I continued to press into God, I stumbled upon a small scripture that I had memorized years before, where God promised me a light, no matter how dark my path got. Psalm 119:105 says, "Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105, NIV)  

I told you that my friend and I got lost on the lake, and we were desperately lost. We were zig-zagging back and forth in the water, trying to find some kind of a landmark, but it was honestly just too dark. 

But then, into the darkness shone a tiny little light that we saw blinking back and forth on the coastline. We pointed our boat towards the light, headed that direction, and I was so amazed to discover that a friend of mine, Bob, had realized that we were missing. He knew that there was no way we were going to find our way home, so he ran out on the boat dock with a tiny little penlight and flashed it on and off, on and off into the darkness, and that tiny, little light is what led us home.

That experience reminds me of the beautiful scripture from 1 John 1:5: "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to each one of you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." (1 John 1:5, NIV) 

No matter how dark the night may seem, there are some incredible promises from God that we can hold on to. The first one is that God is light, that He is the one who can bring us safely home! Secondly, He will never leave us nor forsake us. Thirdly, He's always on the path WITH us, and finally, probably the most powerful of all of them, in Jesus, the light of the world, there is no darkness at all.

If you need light today, turn towards God, not away. Run to Him, not in the opposite direction. Look for the beauty of the light of His love, and know that He is the one who is calling you safely home.

Never forget, my friend, you are a miracle.