Building Strong Relationships with God’s Guidance

Relationships are foundational for life. After all, it is for good reason that the ancient African philosophy of Ubuntu suggests, “I am because we are. And also the God who makes Himself known as Father, Son and Holy Spirit is relational in all His being. No wonder, then, that we humans are also made for relationships. However, in our relationships, pride, jealousy, and criticism can easily creep in, impacting our peace and our connections with each other. Whether you’re in a romantic relationship, navigating friendships, or healing from a breakup, the Bible offers powerful guidance to help cultivate kindness, patience, and humility in relationships—all qualities that can strengthen how you relate to others fruitfully. In need of Biblical guidance in your relationship(s)? Don’t stop reading!

One of the things you should be aware of when you’re working on relationships are jealousy and pride. It’s natural and even normal to feel a certain amount of pride in our accomplishments and even a bit of enviousness when comparing ourselves to others. However, unchecked, these feelings can also harm relationships. Proverbs 16:18 reminds us, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." This verse warns of the dangers of pride, as it can make us feel superior or entitled, alienating us from those we care about.

Pride and jealousy can lead to judgemental criticism, making us focus on our partner’s or friends’ faults, rather than our own and mutual growth. Whether in a relationship of love or friendship, humility and self-awareness are essential for connection. By working on humility, we deeply long create a nurturing space where people feel valued and understood.

Healthy relationships are built on ways we are attached. One crucial aspect of forming these connections is understanding your attachment style. Be it anxious, secure, or avoidant—understanding your attachment style can be key to forming deeper, healthier bonds. In dating or close friendships, identifying and working on an anxious attachment style for instance can help you develop trust and reduce dependency on others for self-worth. Couples therapy or marriage counselling may help you and your partner address unresolved issues related to attachment, helping you grow closer through understanding and support.

In a dating - or even friendship - context, asking intentional questions could open up dialogue and reveal what both of you need for a strong foundation. The Bible emphasises the value of understanding and kindness, as Proverbs 19:8 notes, "The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper." Through this wisdom, we can foster compassionate relationships.

A big challenge in relationships can be forgiving others. Especially when we feel hurt or disappointed. Yet the Bible teaches that forgiveness isn’t just for the benefit of others, but is also a pathway to peace within ourselves. Colossians 3:13 encourages us to "bear with each other and forgive one another...forgive as the Lord forgave you." This doesn’t mean: “ignoring hurt”, but it does mean “releasing anger and inviting healing into our lives”.

After a breakup or the end of a friendship, it’s easy to experience self-criticism, isolation, insecurity, or feelings of guilt. But God invites us to seek healing and growth instead. If these feelings emerge, consider taking these to God in prayer. Seeking guidance through the Bible and surrounding yourself with wise, supportive friends can help rebuild confidence. You might also consider tools like counselling or even spiritual mentorship for guidance on moving forward.