Matthew’s Struggle with Anxiety and Belonging in The Chosen

At first, Matthew isn’t just someone who feels left out, he is left out. As a tax collector, he’s seen as a traitor and openly rejected by his community, even his own parents. But on a personal level, he’s deeply sensitive and socially unsure. His world is built on logic, lists, and routine. Those things help him feel grounded, but they also reveal just how anxious he really is. He trusts numbers more than people. And the people around him don’t trust him at all. Except for one.

We can mainly see Matthew’s antics throughout the first episodes of The Chosen. Matthew moves through the world like he’s trying not to be noticed. He’s hyper-focused on details, uncomfortable with touch, and visibly unsettled by surprises or noise. It’s easy to label him as odd, but what you’re really seeing is anxiety: layered, constant, and exhausting. His rules and rituals aren’t quirks. They’re how he copes with a world that feels unsafe.

What makes The Chosen stand out is how the series doesn't shy away from bringing a personality type like Matthew into the picture and how it gently treats Matthew’s struggle. It doesn’t try to fix him. It doesn’t make him comic relief. The Chosen lets him be a whole person. And in doing so, it reflects something that’s deeply relatable. Many of us know what it feels like to sit at the edge of the group, unsure how to step in. We know the pressure to act normal (if you are even able to find out what “normal” is…), the fear that our presence is too much, not enough, or not appropriate. No matter how we label Matthew’s anxiety, The Chosen just makes his invisible pain visible and embraces it.

But The Chosen doesn’t leave Matthew alone in his pain. He is being called. By Jesus. And if that is not daunting enough, Matthew is also being called to friendship, to intimate friendship. With people! Trying to find his place and pace, we watch Matthew struggling to fit in with the other disciples. It’s uncomfortable. They don’t understand him, and he doesn’t understand them. Every interaction is a burden. But slowly, we see Matthew and the others move from bickering to belonging. The video below, “Matthew in Two Minutes,” offers a brief look at Matthew’s development throughout The Chosen.

Matthew’s journey is not primarily about overcoming anxiety. He does overcome much of his anxiety, but even more so, Matthew’s story about being welcomed as he is. He isn’t less anxious because he follows Jesus… He might even be more anxious! But he’s just no longer alone in it, and that makes all the difference. Over time, he learns that his place at the table isn’t something he has to earn or perform for. It was given to him the moment Jesus saw him and said, “Come.”

Maybe you see yourself in Matthew. Maybe you know the tension of longing for connection but fearing rejection. If so, his story of anxiety is yours too. You don’t need to be fearless to belong. You just need to be willing to follow the voice that calls you by your name.